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Archive for August, 2001

money matters…

Friday, August 31st, 2001

Now going to England to study is not going to be cheap. Because I am a senior I have to take a few very specific classes. So, I had to do a lot of shopping around to find a program where I could take these classes. I decided on the Engineering & Computer Science in London offered by the L.C. Smith College of Engineering & Computer Science of Syracuse University ( Interesting since that is where one of my best friends Jonathan, who will be in Oxford next year, is from. isn’t that a neet coincidence? ) The program is run by the City University in the heart of London.

One of the advantages of this program was that my school’s ( George Mason University ) Center for Global Education has a deal with Syracuse so that I do not have to worry about transfer of credits, and I even get a discount on the program fees. However, there program is not cheap; I have to pay Syracuse Tuition which is $20,866, plus the program fee of $2,000 or so, which brings my total tuition to a total of $24,100! Add to that living expenses ( it only covers 1 meal a day ) and travel, and special insurance for over seas, etc, etc, etc… and it all added up to a grand total of $32,000+ dollars in my calculations!

I don’t have that kind of money!

So, I went to Financial Aid, they told me that since I was only 22 as of January 1, 2001 I was only ellegable for a maximum government loan of $5,500 in my name. So I got this and applied for a Sallie Mae loan for the rest but Financial Aid has to sign off on that based on your ?estimated cost of education,? a number they come up with. The number for my education cost estimate came from a letter from Syracuse which stated that my tuition was $24,100, not taking in to account any other cost. So I currently have a Federal Government subsidized loan for $5,500 and a Sallie Mae loan for $18,600, ( total = $24,1000 ), leaving me about $8,000 from my goal. My mother applied for a PLUS load, from the government but the approval for that comes from George Mason, and since you cannot borrow more than the ?estimated cost of education? less other loans, they denied the loan. To make a long story short I spent all day today on the phone with George Mason, and Syracuse trying to prove to someone I needed more money! After 6 hours of phone tag and holding and being transfered I finally got ahold of someone at Syracuse who had a cost brake down form that Syracuse students get. It said that the total estimated cost of the program, including everything was $37,540!!!!!!

Anyway I got this for faxed to the Office of Financal Aid at GMU and they are going to reevaluate my need, and load request. I leave for England in 23 days, well see how long it takes them to get all this done and whether or not I will be able to eat more than the one meal a day that the $24.100 covers at City….

nobody loves me….

Wednesday, August 29th, 2001

Well I sent an e-mail to all my friends the other day inviting them to read and comment on this journal and to participate in the forum on my website but as of yet the losers have not bothered, and I know it’s not because they don’t have an internet connection, they just went back to college. So far the only people who have looked at my website are my girlfriend, my manger at work, and another friend from work.

Anyway, not much happening in my life, 25 days till I leave for London, Carolyn is going to meet me in Paris the 28th of Sept for the weekend, I am very happy about that. I have most of my stuff ready to go, I am really excited. I was thinking that if I like it enough, I might try to stay and go to Oxford for my masters/doctorate when I finish my batchlers next year.

Ok, got to get back to work now…

(p.s. I am not really mad at my friends, I understand they are busy, I just hope that they will find the time to participate in my life through the web page and journal since I will be 4000 miles away soon, and I cannot afford to call them. )

teresa part IV

Monday, August 27th, 2001

The next day I went to see Teresa at work to find out what was going on. It took me all day to work up the courage to go, but around 7 PM I finally went to her work. When I got there I went inside and asked her if we could talk, she said yes and came outside. When she got outside she pulled a pack of cigarettes out of her pocket. That’s when I knew it was all over.

Anyone who knows me can tell you what I think of smoking; it’s FUCKING disgusting. That’s all it is, FUCKING DISGUSTING! And Teresa had not smoked in almost two years, since we had started to date because of my thoughts on it. Now she lit a cigarette right in front of me and began to smoke like she had never quit. I did not know what to say.

Over the next hour or so I begged and pleaded to know what I had done wrong and why she was leaving me… all I got out of her was apologies and ‘I love someone else’ over and over again. She said that she wanted to get the rest of her stuff from the house, and she would get the lease changed so it was just in her name… etc, etc, etc.

It was the worst day of my life… I left her and cried all night, I new I would never see Michael again. That the past two years of my life where meaningless, that I had to start over. Anyway the next afternoon my mother and I went to see Teresa at work, we went to get the house keys from her and to set up a time for her to come to the house and get her stuff. I could not go in, so my mother went in to talk to her… I owe my mother so much….

So the next day I was at home at the appointed time, I don’t know why I let her come when I was there, I should have made her come some other time. But when she showed up she had John with her. I did not know what to do, I was so mad that I told her I wanted the portable CD player out of her car. She said no. I told her she could not have any of her stuff unless she gave it to me. She told me to give her the in dash CD player in my car then. I said no I wanted my portable, and she had gotten me the in dash for my birthday so they where both mine. I did it all out of spite, I really did not care, but it had the desired effect, a little too well.

Teresa got pissed, she was so mad she attacked me, she punched me and tried to get in the house by force I fought back pushing her away and she tore my shirt off my back and John had to grab her and hold her back while she screamed and tried to kick me. I was crying as I screamed back at her: Get the fuck off my property before I call the police you bitch! Get the fuck out of here…”

John pulled her away an put her in his jeep and they left. A few minuted latter while I was still crying from the shock of being so mad, and feeling like shit the phone rang. When I sobbed out hello it was John, he said that he was sorry and that he wished it was not like this, but asked if there was a time when he could bring Teresa out to get her stuff while I was not there. I could hear her screaming profanities at me in the back ground. I told him that in a few hours my younger sister would be home form school and I would leave for a few hours. Then they could come and get all her shit, and get it the hell out of my house. He said thank you, and that they would be there around 4 o’clock.

At 3:30 I got in my car an left, I really did not know where I was going to go, I just got behind the wheel and drove… I ended up four hours away in Blacksburg at my older sister’s dorm at Virginia Tech. I spent a few hours there, just to get my mind off of things, we went to dinner and then walked around the mall.

When I got home I had nothing… Teresa had taken it all, all the stuff was gone, everything! I was so lost I got back in my car and went to a friends apartment for the night. I did not come home for a week.

During that week I just kind moped around my friend Maurice’s apartment. I went to work one day to get my mind off everything, and Owen another friend who worked with me asked what was up. When I told him that Teresa had left me he said he knew. He had seen her the Saturday before it all
happened at a Subway and she told him she had left me. And that night I went to get dinner and when I tried to pay with my ATM card it was rejected, Teresa had cleaned out my accounts.

Soon after that I was with some new friends and Maurice renting a movie at Blockbuster and when we got in our car to leave we saw Teresa and John waiting around the corner of the building, waiting for us to leave. That was the last time I saw Teresa. When I went to the apartment a week later to confront her about everything she had taken I found out that she had bought out the lease and moved, I had not idea where.

Over the next few months things got worse. Teresa stop paying on the bedroom set my mother had consigned for so I had to pay for a bed I never slept in. And then I got a notice in the mail that the license on Teresa’s car had lapsed with no insurance and since my name and address where on the registration I was liable for the $500 uninsured motorist fee and the licensing fees if I did not return the license within 30 days. I had to go to court to have my name taken off the registration so I would not be liable, it was a nightmare. To make matters worse during the months after Teresa disappeared I had gotten myself into a situation that would spiral out of control, destroying two more years of my life and leading me into another heartbreaking fiasco; and in the end putting an end to my life in Charlottesville… but that is a story for another time.

using livejournals stuff now.

Wednesday, August 22nd, 2001

I am now using livejournal as my journal keeping device. This allows you all to post comments to the entries I make. Unfortunately when you click to read or comment on an entry you are taken to livejounal’s site, they say that they are working on this so I can embed that here too but the feature is not done yet. So if you post a reply you will be on livejournal, so just come back when you are done.

tomatos as office food.

Tuesday, August 21st, 2001

Ok, so I get to work this morning and as I walk through the kitchen which divides our offices in half what to my wondering eyes should I see? A pile of tomatoes on the counter complete with a little post-it note that said “help yourself.” Staring down at this offense to office food I said at the top of my lungs;

“Most people bring donuts or cookies, a few people bring fresh cantaloupe or pineapple, [that would be Janet :) ] but who the hell brings TOMATOES?”

The only reply I got was a few chuckles from nearby offices. So I continued on my way to my office in disgust dreaming about donuts and cookies, or even cantaloupe and pineapple.