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rave-o-matic toilet

December 4th, 2001

Step right up and try the new Rave-o-matic toilet! Complete with variable speed strobe light!

* music not included.

* * * * *

I have recently become aware that going to the bathroom in my dorms has become a surreal experience. The fluorescent light seams to have developed turrette’s syndrome — it cannot stop flashing. Now when it was just a little bit of a dimming effect that was one thing, but as it has now lost it completely and blinks on and off with a disturbing irregularity it has become increasingly hard to aim. I experiance the classic club problem of depth-perception-gone-haywire and tripped out things-that-are-standing-still-look-like-they-are-moving-syndrome every time I go into the bathroom. This has made taking care of bodily needs numbers one and two a real chore as I have to go down to another floor to perform said acts! I don’t think I am asking much when I ask for a consistent source of light while I am in the bathroom, am I? Even at the worst raves I have been to the strobe lights where not in the bathrooms. I mean they could at least install some nice Bose 901 speakers and a couple of BIG amplifiers so I can blast the techno while I…. um yea… well… I have to go to bed now…

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