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The Wall

June 28th, 2004

as I walk the scenery changes, first my eyes show me the lush green shades of a primeval forest, I smell the dampness in the air, the smell of crisp new life, I close my eyes to enjoy the peace, and feel the sting of hot sand burning the soles of my feet, I open my eyes and see only the endless expance of a sea of sand, the remains of once mighty mountains, the wind stings my face with the tiny grains, I start to walk, looking for shelter, slowly at first, then with increasing urgency, till I find myself running full speed to escape the stinging sands, the scorching sun, I shield my eyes with my arms, looking down I see the earth change again,the sea of sand becomes a sea of grass, stopping I look around and see rolling hills covered in grasses waving in the wind, streching as far as my eyes can see, behind me the same, no sand, only grass, I walk on, wondering how I got here, slowly the hills rise higher, become snow covered mountains, over the mountains, I walk on, past the mountains, through lands dotted with trees, past rivers, the sun rises, sets, rises again, over and over, never a sign of life, then in the distance streching across the horizon before me, a dark line appears, as I walk on through rocky badlands, the line grows, becoming clearer, a featureless black wall, taller than the tallest mountains, finally splashing through a swamp, I come the the base of the wall, massive blocks of obsidian stacked high enough to dwarf all the worlds mountains, longer then all the rivers, I walk along the wall trying to find some way through the impossable barrier, beneath the wall I know not the setting of the sun, only when it rises beside me and banishes the shadows from my path do I reckon time, days pass, unknown weeks as I walk along the base of the wall, feeling it’s smooth surface under my fingers, stumbling along in the dark of night, blinded by the sun in the day, then beneath my hands the wall vanishes, no, not the whole wall, only part of it, I use my hands to find the extent of this hole and for the first time I notice the cold, because a warm breeze is blowing from the void, the sharp edges of the obsidian cut my hands as I crawl into the wall, shivering, I curl up, I can smell the dampness, taste the air, it is stale, I rest for a time, the sun striking me as it rises, the night enveloping me again soon afterwards, my strength returns as I rest, then in the darkness a voice calls to me, beckoning for me to come deeper into the wall, I follow it, moving deeper into the wall, ever deeper into darkness, no longer does the sun shine from behind me, there is only darkness, and as I struggle on, the voice bocomes deafening, still I crawl on, dragging myself along till I reach the end of my strength, then a pin point of light appears far off before me, I force my hands and feet to continue on, the light becomes brighter till my sight is filled with a blinding white light that burns through my eyelids, I no longer feel the sharpness of the obsidian, I no longer smell the dampness of the stone, I no longer taste the dust in my mouth, I no longer hear my voice calling me…

nothingness, absolute nothingness, I cannot see, hear, taste, smell or feel my world, only the wall exists to me and I forever crawl through the passage of my mind, here at last I have found myself.

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