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Archive for April, 2006

Burn it! Burn it!

Monday, April 24th, 2006

Some poor fishermen found some pirate treasure in the Madives, true sunken booty: 1.6 tons of weed. The BBC has this short article [bbc.co.uk] on it. The best part:

“…the scale of the drugs haul has caused tension among local people who are insisting that police must destroy it in a transparent manner.”

Yes. They should have a bonfire in the middle of the village. That way everyone can be confident that the drugs were destroyed.

Thy Holy Handkerchief

Monday, April 17th, 2006

Get your love rag ready…

“After the act of love,” read the instructions from the Rev. Moon’s conservative Family Federation, “both spouses should wipe their sexual areas with the Holy Handkerchief. Hang the handkerchief[s] to dry naturally and keep them eternally. They must be kept individually labeled and should never be laundered and mixed up.”

If that doesn’t peek your interest enough to read this article [alternet.org] then I don’t know what will… Maybe your ‘”love organs’ are already owned by Satan!

Pr0n

Monday, April 3rd, 2006

More about my misadventures in Shanghai at a future date… I’m still trying to scrub the rude crust of communist China off my face and ass… In the mean time let us talk about something much more important: PORN!

Slashdot [slashdot.org] has this post [slashdot.org] about a study in England that (duh) finds that more than half of 9-19 year old males (what about women?) have been exposed to online porn. Great! Desensitize the masses, soon the legal age for buying Hustler will be 10! Ain’t democracy great? You can’t read the full article unless you have a subscription to the FT but the best part is quoted in the Slashdot summary:

“To some men, Haynes argues, clicking on porn is simply a way to pass the time. It’s a hobby. Once they’d idly play solitaire; now they idly click on a porn site. Others, though, succumb to addiction: Most addictions are to do with internal emptiness, wanting to fill up dead space, and addiction is always destructive.”

Yea! But it’s not their own “internal emptiness” they want to fill up.

Of course this leaves many unanswered questions: How many males age 0-9 have been exposed to online porn? How many women aged 0-19 have been exposed to online porn? If they haven’t been exposed; why? Do they not own a computer or have access from school? And the best question of all: What religion are these 9-19 year old boys?