Month: October 2001

I was sitting in a pub tonight, drinking a Bass and just kind of looking around when I happened to overhear a conversation that made me want to just die!

(Now remember, read it with a really bad London accent, a la Eliza in My Fair Lady)

“I hate that bitch!”

“Who?”

“Sarah Jessica? Whatever her name is!”

“Sarah Jessica Parker?”

“Yes! I hate that bitch!”

“Why?”

“Because of that fucking show; Sex in the City! Because that fuckin? show caused my wife to argue with me! I hate that fuckin’ show!”

“Sex in the City? It?s a good show.”

“I hate the fuckin’ thing because one night my wife asks; ‘Why can’t our relationship be like the one on that show?? And I says ‘Cause it?s a show, it’s a fuckin’ show on the telly!”

I guess you had to be there but the sound of that guy yelling to the people he was with saying fucking so much, and it sounded like ‘Foocken’ with the slurred ‘u’ and the hard ‘k’ kind of like German. It was hilarious!

C██████ and I went to Paris this weekend. We had an absolutely amazing time romantic and relaxing. Then we went out separate ways, she went to Germany, and I came back to England. We won’t get to see each other again till Christmas, unless I get a job and some time off school.

Anyway, we where up to out old tricks in Paris again, we got drunk with some friends Friday night, and then went out walking till after 6am! By the time we got back to our hotel we were both suffering from blisters! And on top of that I forgot my knee brace so my bum knee is painful.

Now normally I would not complain about blisters or my knee, they are both to be expected… but what happened at the train station when I was about to leave Paris added to my physical misery… As I was walking down from the Eurostar lobby to the platform, the man in front of me decided he was going the wrong way. So he turned around and tried to walk through me! Driving his forehead into my nose at high velocity… His forehead won (seeing how he is a numbskull this makes complete sense in retrospect!). He very nearly broke my nose, in fact I thought it was broken, because I could not feel it and it was pouring blood out like a water tap! I went through a half role of paper towels before the blood clotted enough so I was not dripping like a racehorse as I walked. And it is still weeping 5 hours latter back in England. I don’t think my nose is broke, or at least it’s not crooked. So right now my nose hurts; my knee hurts; by feet hurts and I have to be up in 8 hours for my first day of school in a foreign country… Life is such an adventure…!

Despite all this Paris was wonderful, I love that city and I think that I will have to live there someday! It was also great to see C██████ one last time, in Europe, before school starts. Right now she is in a sleeper car, on a train bound for Frankfurt. I hope she is sharing her compartment with some cool girl and not a fat ugly hag. I would not want her to have horrible nightmares for the rest of her life!

…well I’m off to lick my wounds and get some rest for school, you all have fun!…