Categories
ranting

Look at my Laser… pew pew!

OK, I’m a little late posting this… about 5 months but anyway, I got a Wicked Laser [wickedlasers.com]! From one of my sisters. For my birthday. Look at my laser…

How Do You Like My Laser

This is my laser. There are many like it, but this one is mine. [wikipedia.org]

At this point it’s important to point out that lasers make everything better [splitreason.com]. Except Alderaan [cad-comic.com].

But then my older sister reminded me that I don’t have a very good history with lasers. AKA: The incident with the state cops.

Back in, like, 1997 I had me a laser pointer. Red, in the style of the day. And lasers are cool and must be pointed at everything. Everything. So one night while driving down the Interstate with M██████…

Aside: I realize there is no way to tell this story without sounding like we were complete and utter idiots. Now that I have that out of my system… Back to our regularly scheduled program.

While I was driving M██████ was pointing the laser at various things we passed, trees, the guard rail, etc. There was no one else around when we started. Then he pointed it at a road sign and the reflection was crazy. Road signs being highly reflective and all. After a few signs we noticed something cool; the laser didn’t reflect off of the green road signs, you could see it but it was just a faint red dot whereas it was more like a small red explosion on the other signs. So as we zoomed down the interstate at, something like, 65 mph M██████ was pointed the laser at road signs and especially the big green ones because as you moved the laser back and forth over the white lettering and green sign it produced a strobe like effect. But after a while it got boring. And that was that.

Till I got home two hours later.

And there was a state cop car in my parents driveway.

Turns out some woman driving in front of us saw the laser reflecting off the road signs and got scared that we had some sort of laser scoped gun sight… and accompanying gun. I can only assume that this woman watched a lot of action movies. So she slowed down and got my license plate number and called the cops. Didn’t take the cops very long to show up at my parents house.

I had to sit in the cop’s car and explain what we had done. Then ride down to M██████’s house with the cop to confirm the story and sit while the cop filled out a report, which we signed and then he lectured us for a while. I won’t even tell how much trouble we were both in with our parents after explaining ourselves to a state cop who had waited at my house for over an hour.

So my older sister is right; I don’t have a good record with lasers. But really? Can you blame me?

Do you like lasers?

Fuck yeah you do. [stackoverflow.com]