Category: ranting

I did not have the snake… but as we are in Taipei today we went to Snake Alley for dinner and my birthday cake.

I just saw a dog in a dipper… A. Dog. In. A. Dipper. Yep. I was just walking back to the hotel from the office and—Boom—doggy in a dipper trotting across the street. Do what? What’s wrong with Taiwanese?

And here’s today’s reason why:

I███: Mornin. Is sunday busy in little india?

beggs: Yea.

I███: Thanks man. Opted for red dot and sleepy arab 1/4. Which reminds me, you given any further thought to full beardiness? Mullah Beggerly has a certain ring to it.

beggs: Haha. You have to clear it with the wife—but I guess being a mullah means the wife does not get a say.

I███: sure enough.

beggs: I could be Mullah beggs the militant vegetarian atheist.

I███: As a career move i think we’re on to something. allow me to offer my services as your agent. Motivational speaking at weddings, bar mitzvahs, beheadings, etc.

beggs: given the current economic situation I’ll have to seriously consider it.

Of course I don’t really believe in hell so… I guess it’s like going to beautiful northern New Jersey—I don’t believe in it, it doesn’t exist, you can’t go there.

Maybe the government should attach some requirements to giving GM (and other US car makers) bailout money; like, say; ‘stop making cars. ‘Cause you’re not good at it.’ Maybe they can make wind turbines or something—use the governments money to retrain their people and reconfigure their plants to make something useful.

Someone asked a friend of mine, via social media, to pray for them, as they were trying to get a new job. This poor unsuspecting person got a very Monty Python-esque response:

Any particular variation of prayer? Buddhist (Jane already has the job, she just has to reach out and take it herself), Hindu (Jane needs to meditate more, she is young), Muslim (as long as she covers her hair Jane can do what she likes), Confucian (there is no Jane, only light), Zoroastrian (Jane has not been to the holy tree in 7 cycles, what hope could she have), Protestant (Jane has as much right to the job as anybody else, but she can mark where she likes as along as she’s not flash with her cash), Catholic (Jane… Ah bless… I’d nail myself ecstatically to a cross where she called for an interview and die of holy happiness where she to be saved from her sins by the lord)…. Like what’s the pitch here?

Besides the mixing up of religions (I think that is Zen not Confucian) it’s brilliant!