Categories
ranting

More Fragments From Hell

I don’t know who wrote these but I found them on the old hell.com chat rooms. I like them. (Note: I ran a spell check on them and fixes some typos.)

First Fragment

: should he sacrifice for the progress of technology and knowledge and science, or should he escape from the system and live in peace and solitude
: he didn’t really believe it
: just repeating cliches of reassurance
: he told his self
: don’t let these insecurities slow you down
: never any answers
: always more questions
: is she the one?
: is it wrong to enjoy life when there is so much suffering in the world
: is it happening now somewhere else?
: has all this happened before?
: do the ends justify the means?
: what is the ultimate goal of humanity?
: what is the nature of the self?
: when death comes, will i remember life?
: who was i before i was born?
: is there such a thing as free will?
: he asked the big questions
: what was he sent here to do?
: it rang through his thoughts instinctively
: seek first the kingdom seek first the kingdom
: always in the depths of his mind lurked the remnants of his religious leanings
: he knew he did

Second fragment

: was she just another habit
: a habit he lived for
: the dangers of love
: when your reason for living can leave
: what did he really want in life?
: why was he here if not for her?
: its not like she was the first girl to be his life
: he had to better his self
: he knew he did
: always in the depths of his mind lurked the remnants of his religious learning
: seek first the kingdom seek first the kingdom
: it rang through his thoughts instinctively
: what was he sent here to do?
: he asked the big questions
: is there such a ting as free will?
: who was i before i was born?
: when death comes, will i remember life?
: what is the nature of the self?
: what is the ultimate goal of humanity?
: do the ends justify the means?
: has all this happened before?
: is it happening now somewhere else?
: is it wrong to enjoy life when there is so much suffering in the world
: is she the one?
: always more questions

Categories
ranting

7 Months

7_months_scan
Categories
ranting

Faded Childhood Memories

bjb_13months

… Riding up and down the escalator at Leggett’s in Barrack’s Road shopping center …

I was about 2 or 3… We went shopping at Leggett’s (much later purchased by Belk) at the Barrack’s road shopping center in Charlottesville. Within a few years Leggett’s had relocated to Fashion Square Mall (which was ‘the new mall’ for me for years). Today there is a Barnes & Noble in the ground floor of the old Leggett’s and a M██████’s Craft Store in the upper floor. The old escalator, which was located in the middle of the store (I think…) is gone, now there is one in the front to one side so you can get to the M██████’s.

… Watching time laps of a dead bunny decaying, being eaten by ants and maggots …

At the time I was maybe 4 or 5? We (at least my mother and older sister) were in Portsmouth, Virginia, staying with some friends of my mom’s from the Navy. I don’t really remember who, but my sister was friends with their daughter, Michelle, for a long time. I got up early one morning, must have been about 5 AM. Mom was sleeping on the couch in the living room (this was military housing; a long row of red-brick townhouses.) I turned on the TV but didn’t know how to change the channels. I guess it must have been Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom or something. All I really remember is sitting on the floor watching the dead bunny.

… Eating candy carnival peanuts at the babysitters …

This one takes place in Portsmouth too. In the house of some babysitter just down the road from the house my parents owned when I was born. This was after we had moved to Charlottesville (when I was 6 months old) but we were back in Portsmouth for something (most likely my mom’s two weeks active duty for the Navy reserves.) I remember having a bag of those sickly sweet candy carnival peanuts, the milky orange ones that are about two inches long and flat on one side. I think I ate too many.

… Seeing a tug boat one night after leaving a movie theater where we watched “The Aristocats” …

I have no idea how old I was or where we where… being that there is a tug boat I suppose we must have been in Portsmouth or Norfolk. There are no tug boats in Charlottesville. I don’t even know if this memory is real. But I associate tug boats with The Aristocats…

… Sitting in the sandbox at Vicky’s and hearing her yell something. Looking up and seeing a bull in the back yard …

Yes a bull. A big black one. It had escaped from the farm next door and somehow ended up in the back yard of my babysitters house… while all of us were playing. I don’t remember much else, don’t think anyone was hurt. The farmer came and got the bull.

… Getting a concussion because I was on one of those over-sized playground balls with the big looping handle for bouncing when an earthquake hit Charlottesville …

I was a bit older, maybe 4 or 5 when this happened. I was in the basement of the neighborhood babysitter, Arlene’s house. I was bouncing around on the ball and then everything started to shake. I bounced myself right into one of the metal support polls for the house and knocked myself out for a few seconds. I’ve written about it before [confusion.cc].

… Collecting giant pine cones and then eating taco salad from a salad bowl made of a giant taco shell …

I was in Portsmouth for this one (I seem to a have a lot of memories from Portsmouth which is funny as we were not there very often.) I don’t know how old I was 4? 6? 9? I was with my mom and we were visiting some Navy friends of hers for dinner. They had collected these giant pine cones (and I mean giant; some of them were close to 8 or 10 inches tall) from some trees in their yard and piled them around the base of the tree. I took several of them home, they were around the house in Charlottesville for years. Later we had dinner inside. They made taco salad and served it in these giant edible salad bowls made by deep frying tortillas.

… Getting sick from too many strawberries and too much riding in a hot car …

This is why I don’t eat strawberries to this day… I remember the smell of the strawberry vomit in the car. We had gone to Rapidan Farms to pick strawberries. Me being two or three ate more than I picked. The long hot car ride home and a belly full of strawberries did not agree.

… My dad changing the tire on the old blue car one afternoon in the parking lot of the old seafood restaurant on top of Pantops …

Pantop’s mountain is just over the river form Charlottesville and the seafood restaurant was one of the very few things on that side of the river at the time (the others I think being; a Shell gas station, a Exxon gas station and the White House Motel…) The old blue car (same one with the strawberries above) had a flat tire. I don’t really remember what day of the week or time of day it was but the parking lot was empty. That old seafood place closed and sat empty for years; now it’s an Aunt Sarah’s

… The county fair at Pantops …

I just remember all the rides and games. They held the county fair there a couple of times in the fields behind the Shell station and next to the river. I must have been young because there has been a shopping center there since I was about 8.

Categories
ranting

Passive Racism

I observed much passive racism today here in Singapore today. Taking the subway home I encountered a number of people in and around the stations collecting money for relief efforts to help those affected by the recent earthquake in China. Nothing particularly wrong with this… except that 100% of those collecting money were ethnic Chinese, Singaporean citizens no doubt but ethnic Chinese. The racism come in when I think back to a few weeks ago and the now conspicuous absence of anyone at subway stations collecting money for relief efforts to help those affected by cyclone Nargis in Myanmar. Maybe there were some, but not many, not like now. It’s because the victims of Nargis are not ethnic Chinese. And that, is racism, passive racism, but still; racism. It disgusts me.

This, sadly, is all to common for Singapore and most of the diaspora Chinese in Southeast Asia as I understand it. I hope that I can educate this out of my child as he or she grows up here in Singapore.

As a side note; I did not give any money to these efforts. I never do. I prefer instead to give my money before the disaster to recognized and known organizations that will be there as soon as the disaster strikes, no matter were, no matter who is affected. I have reoccurring monthly contributions to the International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies [ifrc.org] and Oxfam International [oxfam.co.uk]. A better way to help all those in need I think. It makes me feel like I am part, a small part, of the solution all the time.

Categories
ranting

The End is Neigh, But Go Not Quietly…

Up to now I’ve been saying that I prefer Hilary [wikipedia.org] to Barack [wikipedia.org]. There are a few reasons for this but the most important are: 1) She has impressed me with her grasp of the details of many of the issues (those that have actually been discussed,) and 2) a lot of people hate her, which to me means she will not be able to just do what she wants, she will have to ‘play politics’ which means compromise, and I think this is key to good progress on key issues (even if it leads a to too much pork and other waste.)

But… As the primary and caucus season winds down I think it’s obvious that more people are supporting Obama. Hilary winning the nomination on Superdelegate [wikipedia.org] votes rather than the popular vote would be too much like Bush winning on electoral votes while losing the popular vote… twice. So I think it’s time that Hilary move on.

I don’t think, however, that she should retire from politics. While I would cringe at the idea of a Hilary vice presidency, I think Hilary could learn a lot from Al [wikipedia.org]. He, uh, suffered a setback but is still very much in the public eye and a force for good. I think Hilary could, after serving out her Senate term, find an issue she believes in, such as universal health care, and devote herself to public lobbying and education on the issue much has Al Gore has done with Climate Change… I mean Global Warming.

Hilary has been a long time political figure, even if she was briefly over shadowed by her husband there is a lot she could offer to the world even if she never serves as the president. If, as now seem all but certain, she does not receive the Democratic Party nomination she should not fade from public view as most other failed candidates do; she should continue to participate in public dialog.