syracuse trip

And now a short aside. C—— and myself went to Syracuse this weekend to see J——- and it was amazing! We went to the Sterling Renfest, I have a role of film which I need to get processed, maybe I will post some of them. I was “forced” into volunteering in one of the shows “Daniel Duke of Danger.” The forcing came in because I was sitting in the crowd and he said he needed some “volunteers” for one of his tricks… then C—— sitting beside me tried to raise my arm. I tightened the muscles in my arm and kept it down and I turned to C—— and said “Nooooo!” I think that was my downfall. Daniel walked right up to me, passing by most of the guys squirming in their seats and said

“Pardon me Madame, but do you know this young man?”

“Yes, yes I do.” C—— managed to say while miserably failing to suppressing her giggles at my misfortune.

“Is he reliable?

“He most defiantly is!” She smiled, now utterly pleased with her work, putting me in the situation I hate most; public humiliation… people will be looking at me!

“And what is your name sir?” Daniel asked as he turned to me for the first time, pulling me up from the bench.


Daniel decided that Brian was not a “reliable” enough name and that he preferred “Spike” so that?s what he was going to call me. Then he lead me down to the stage where the two other “lucky” guys where waiting.

The stunt that Daniel was performing was a balancing feat; first he had a platform set up which stood about four feet above the ground, on top of this was placed a five inch diameter lead pipe, and atop that another pipe perpendicular to the first. The job of the other two “volunteers” was to hold a board, one foot deep and about three feet wide, stable atop this precarious tower. When Daniel and I got to the stage he directed me to stand with my back to the crowd facing the surf board and he climbed atop the platform facing the crowd. Then he looked down at me and said:

“Ok Spike, I need you to hold your arms in the air and make two fists.”

So I lifted my fist into the air, imitating his stance, something like holding a dumbbells over your head, only I felt like the dumbbell since my hands where empty and I could feel the stares of the crowd burning my back.

“Now I need ya to yell at the top of your lungs, ‘I believe'” Daniel said as he tossed his head back and still holding his hands back, looking like a Southern Baptist at a revival.

“I don’t believe.” I replied in a rather dull voice.

Looking down at me Daniel said “C’mon Spike work with me here.”

So I tossed my head back and joined the revival: “I believe!”

Then Daniel climbed atop the surf board using my fist as hand hold to keep balance. Once he was atop his tower he dismissed the other two helpers. They left leaving me alone on stage with the nut, and by back still to the crowd.

“I love ya spike. At least right now, till I don’t need you any more.”

“Typical man.”

“Now is not the time to hold a conversation with the acrobat. When I let go of your fist I want you to take two big steps to your right and wait.”


After I step away and Daniel stood strait on his tower and told a few jokes, I had to be the human hand hold again so he could get down. He bowed and as he sent me off he said to the crowd, “Ladies and Gents, I give you Spike!” So I waved and walked off to the side of the stage to C—— who had been happily snapping pictures of my ordeal all along. She hugged me with a grin from ear to ear as Daniel said; “May all your children be born naked!” the crowd laughed, and I began to plan various way to extract my revenge on C——. But of course one kiss from her and a “Your so cool, so handsome,” and I forgot all about trying to embarrass her, I really am quite cheap.


t—– part III

Thinking about everything while I drove out to T—–‘s grandmother’s house that day, I began to realize that things had fallen apart. I could hear in T—–‘s voice a cold, dull sound, kind of like the empty metallic echo of an oil drum. I don’t quite know what it was that made me realize it but I somehow knew it was over. After I picked up M—— it all hit me. Hard. Seeing him sit in the car, a week from his third birthday and knowing somewhere deep inside that I would not see his forth birthday I lost it. I was crying by the time I got to the Papa Johns where T—– worked. As I parked the car in front of the store and turned the engine off I looked at M—— and just shook my head. M—— unbuckled his seat belt and crawled onto my lap and brushing one of my tears away said:

“Ouchy? Dada, ouchy”

“No, I’m ok,” I replied, “go inside and see your Mom, I have to go to work… I’ll see you later”

With this I opened the door and let M—— out, I watched him go up to the door and struggle to get it open. Inside he climbed up into a chair and pressed his face up to the glass and as he waved to me I backed the car out of the parking space and drove out of M——‘s life. I never saw him again.


t—– part II

At the time I did not think too much about this phone call because, T—– was working very long days since she was concerned that we would not have enough money to move in to our apartment. About this time we had begun to buy furniture for the apartment and that morning, after taking M—— to T—–‘s grandmother’s, I went to arrange delivery of the bedroom set we where buying. My mother was co-signing for us since the set cost about a grand, and that is something I would come to regret later, but was thankful for at the time.

Over the next few weeks I did not see T—– much, there where a few nights she called and said she was going to crash at J—‘s. I brushed this off because J— usually worked the evening shift with T—–, and his car was broken down so she was driving him to and from work. Other days I worked day time and she worked nights, so the only time we saw each other was between when she got home early in the morning and I left for work a little while later. Everything came to a head on December fourth.

December fourth was a Monday, and over the past two day T—– had been moving the last of her things out of her grandmothers house and into the apartment. Most of the stuff we had purchased together and my things where still at my house. Because the bedroom set was not scheduled to be delivered till the fourth I was staying at my house and T—– and M—— where staying at her grandmothers. That morning she called me and asked if I could pick M—— and bring him to her at work around four because she was getting off at five and I had to be at work at five. I said yes, and I would see her at four-ish.



Back to T—–. Some time in mid November at 2 in the morning I awoke to the phone in my room.


“Brian? I have like 2 more hours of work to do, then I am going to take J— home, and I am about to die for sleep. I may sleep on his couch for a while before I come home.”

“Um, ok. I have to go to work early, I’ll take M—— to your Grandma’s for the day so you can work.”

“Ok, thanks. I won’t see you tomorrow because I have to be here at 4 till close.”

“I’ll come by and see you when I get off work, do you want me to pick you up any thing for dinner?”

“No. Anyway I have to go, I need to get this work done so I can get some sleep.”


why am I doing this?

Well since one of the main reasons for this web-site is to keep an online journal, I should probably start with a little background info. First off if you have not guessed already my name is Brian Jeffery Beggerly. I am 23 years old and about to head off to England to attend The City University of London for my last year of college.

The road to England has been a long and interesting one. The original idea goes way back to a childhood dream about attending school at Oxford. When I graduated high school (Albemarle High in Charlottesville, Virginia) I had no real plan. I attended Piedmont Virginia Community College, and took classes at the University of Virginia. Between the two schools, I attend full time for about a year. During that year I was also involved in a relationship with a girl I had first meet in high school. Teresa was the first time I was involved in a relationship where I thought about the future. Up till her my girlfriends, both long and short term where really no more than friends. But when Teresa and I began to get involved I took the relationship more seriously, because of M——.

M—— was Teresa’s son, he was six months old when I meet Teresa and almost a year when we began to seriously date. From nearly the fist time I meet M—— he called me ‘dada.’ I think, looking back, that my relationship with Teresa would not have gone on for long except for M——. I look back and can see that it was the feelings I had for M——, for being M——s ‘dada’ that caused me to pursue the relationship to the level I did.

Anyway, after about a year of dating Teresa and M—— moved in with me, into my parents house (that was a little weird, but my mother is way too nice). Once they where in my house, I became more of a father to M—— and took fewer classes so I could work full time (at Glenmore Country Club, but those are stories for another day.)

Late that year Teresa and I decided to get an apartment. After much looking around and debating we finally signed a lease in late October. Between the time we signed the lease and the date we were scheduled to move in, December 2, I quit my job at Glenmore. During November as we shopped for furnishings, for the apartment, and I looked for a job, Teresa worked long hours, and we got in many quarrels, mostly about stupid things, especially money. I finally settled on a job at Wal-Mart as seasonal help because I could not find another job cooking at a nice place.