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life is a bitch

May 11th, 2003

Or at least mine is. Saturday night I went out to my truck to go to the Mische’s house for dinner and got a rude shock. I got in and turned the truck on. I headed down to the stop light and while I was waiting for the light to change I heard two people talking — and my first thought was ‘did I leave the window down? God, I hope not it was pooring this morning!’ All this was running through my head because the I could hear the two people way to clearly for all the windows to be up. I turned my head and sure enough the back window was open. Only was not rolled down. In fact it was shattered all over the back seat and floor. As the next horribly logical thought grasped by brain I looked down to see my cd’s — or lack there of in the front seats.

All the cd’s that where in the car — about 23 of them I think, and Stephens copy of The Ghost in the Shell DVD where gone. This is possible the most angering thing that someone could have done to my truck. I would have preferred that they steal it out right rather then steal my cd’s and bust the window. The person who did this — and I’m going to stereotype here and say it was a he — should have himself hoisted up by his scrotum with rusty fish hooks and then he should be repeatedly sodomized by a lemon juice and salt covered puffer fish till they are within an inch of death. Where upon medical treatment should be administered and as soon as they wounds have begun to heal the whole process should be restarted ad infinitum!

Oh yes, they should also be castrated by a rabid pit bull so they can never have a chance to spread their geans.

3 Responses to “life is a bitch”

OMG… that’s not NEARLY painful enough.

They could have at LEAST stolen wet shoes and your conviently located shirt in the back seat!

Oh yes, they should also be castrated by a rabid pit bull so they can never have a chance to spread their geans.

Well, since you started by being stereotypical, I’ll finish it by saying: it’s probably too late, he’s more than likely got ten kids spreading around the Washington metro area.

I fear that Garth is probably right: He most likely already has 10 kids around the DC area, from three different mothers, as well. Though, you can consider yourself equal with Stephen now, as I mentioned to him the other day: He does owe you for a new map because of the permanent marker on the map pad incident; now you owe him for Ghost in the Shell. Voila! Equal. Although I am sure not the way you intended. Damn deviants.