CategoriesArchiveSearchRandom
View the archives

or

Search the archives
 

Archive for December, 2002

another year

Monday, December 23rd, 2002

I do not think I will get a chance to post anything more to my journal this year, so though I know it is a few day early this my end of the year entry.

This year has been a wild ride for me. From my travels in Europe, to my trials of the heart I have experienced so much in the last revolution around the sun. I have made friends .. and lost friends. I have known happiness, and pain. Joy and loneliness. The times have been good and bad. But I don’t believe in regret and I don’t count on second chances. I travel ever forward on the path before me. The road goes ever on… The experiences of this year tell me only one thing for sure—that the powerful play goes on, and I want to contribute many more verses.

I just sent out my end of the year email to all those who matter most to me. Looking at that email, with a detached mind, it sounds mushy, like feel good religious/spiritual foofoo, but I guess that sometimes things need to be said to those who matter that sound mushy, things that sound like some kind of bad, low budget Hollywood love story. As Leo Buscaglia said:

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

Too may of us go about our day to day lives, never stopping to hug our friends, to say “I love you” to anyone but our date. We insult each other in jest all the time, but how often do we compliment our friends? Or thank them for just being our friend? I do not go to church, or synagogue or mosque or any other place of worship. I hold no views one way or the other on gods or the afterlife. I place my faith in no book, no idol, no creed. I place my faith in those I love and those who love me. It is for them, and because of them I try to live a good life..

attack of the fermented kim chi!

Monday, December 23rd, 2002

I have been Kim Chi’ed! I purchased Kim Chi last Friday at Lotte—today I went to my refrigerator planning on making Kim Chi and Udon. I picked up the jar of Kim Chi and a package of Udon. I opened the jar of Kim Chi and it spewed all over me! Somewhere between Friday and today, in my refrigerator my Kim Chi fermented! There are bubbles rising in the jar as I type this—I am afraid…

drunk pachyderms

Sunday, December 22nd, 2002

Like some real world dumbo’s a couple of elephants got drunk on rice beer in Assam, India last week and trampled six people… (BBC Story)

redneckism

Saturday, December 21st, 2002

How does one become a redneck? For most rednecks the answer is easy; they where born to redneck parents and grew up as rednecks. But somewhere, back in time, there where no rednecks—where did the first one come? Was a child born a redneck with normal parents or did the parents become rednecks and then give birth? The chicken or the egg?

I am asking because of one of my little sisters—she is a redneck. She was not always a redneck, but in the past two or three years she has become more and more a redneck. She wares greasy wife beaters, obsesses over supe’d up cars, talks like she lives in a Tennessee trailer park she flunked out of her first semester of community college because she never went to class (she is actually quite intelligent—she’s just really lazy, and the lazy part overpowers the smart part most of the time,) and is obsessed with a 15 year old high school dropout redneck boy who talks about her like shit behind her back. Someone should just giver her a pair of slippers and the keys to a trailer.

I don’t understand it, my parents are both college educated people, who work in science, my older sister and I both have degrees, my youngest sister is a strait A student and yet the other is still a redneck? Now I hung out with some rednecks in my life—they are really nice people, don’t get me wrong, but let’s face it most of them are stuck in life. They will never be anything but a redneck, and most rednecks are poor, disgusting, wretched creatures who live in trailers and go hunt’n or ride 4×4’s thru the woods while drunk off their asses and then don’t understand it when someone gets hurt. Would you want your sister to grow up to be a foul mouthed redneck bitch?

Anyway, maybe their is a glimmer of hope that my sister can pull herself up out of the red hole she is in. I talked with her the other night and she said she had decided she wanted to go to school to learn how to put electronics together. I told her that the people who put things together most of the time did not go to college, they were just blue collar laborers. What she was actually talking about was a computer or electrical engineer—the people who design the systems. (I don’t know if that is what she was talking about, but at least it requires a college degree!) So she said she was going to look into going back to the community college and working hard to get A’s so she could transfer to a school for engineering. Now we’ll see if this is a true turn around or just a flavor of the week…

natural selection

Wednesday, December 18th, 2002

So some kid died when he tried to recreate a stunt he saw on Jackass on MTV. Now I think Jackass is a stupid show, lower on the scale than the Power Rangers and Barney but let’s get one thing strait: anyone who attempts to recreate anything they saw on that show deserves to die—it’s called natural selection and there is not enough if it in the human world today! Of course if the kid who tries to recreate a stunt is five or six then maybe it’s the parents who should be natural selected out of the population for neglecting their kid—sometimes I think there should be a licensing scheme for parenting, I know it would not solve all the problems but lets say that no college degree = no kids, a bachelors means one or two, a masters up to 4 and any number with a Ph.D. I think that would cut down on the stupid parents quotas. Now, I’m not saying there is a problem with stupidity in America, but lets remove the safety labels from everything and let the problem fix itself. And of course we put a moratorium on suing over injury and death caused by not following the directions!

plur

Tuesday, December 17th, 2002

Peace Love Unity Respect

Ok, so Saturday morning I checked my email and there was this email from a mailing list I have belonged to for about three years. It was one of those “surveys” you are supposed to fill out and forward to your friends and the person who sent it to you. Now I have not posted to the list for almost two years, I read the posts that come up, but between work/school/living in Europe I never posted. So I figured I would post a reply and see if I could raise a few eyebrows.

Apparently I did. I, very quickly, got two responses that amounted to “who the fuck are you?” So I composed a reply which stated how I got on the list, who I knew and why I have not posted. I sent the reply to both the people that mailed me and CC’ed it to the list. I guess I should have used the BCC because I got a not-so-happy response from one of the two people who mailed me because I had included their email in the posting to the list. Here are the emails:

yeah, so how come you think the scene at Velvet might be considered anything less than ball-stink? it’s fucking eau d’nutsack in that piece. and cut it out with your “et al” and pretending to speak english with your shit-hole typos and yada yada. nobody gives a shit.
GO BACK TO ENGLAND OR GET BLOWN UP IN THE STATES.
no offense or anything. i just haven’t gotten any total shit like this email from you in a long time.
stay off the marmite and steer clear of limeys.

and,

parties are for washed-up party kids and fags.
probably wont be at another one for a long time.
and if i was at a party i would be so drunk i dont think i would know where i was.by the way, thanks for posting that thing with my return address to the whole list so that everybody can know that i emailed you…i dont really like to have that shit broadcast.

Umm, yea, not PLUR.

Now, being poked fun of for spelling or something is one thing, but on a mailing list devoted to party-kids and raver I do not expect that I should be insulted in anyway but jesting. Maybe it is because I am jaded, or an old-school raver (not even that old-school!) but I believe in PLUR. Peace Love Unity and Respect where the guiding principles of the raver/party-kid community when I began raving. The people I met at parties where just nice—and not always because they where fucked up. They believed in PLUR—or at least they practiced it in public.

Over the years I was a hardcore raver I watched the scene change to one filled with much more violence and unfriendliness. I don’t know if the rise in drug use I observed was a result or a symptom of this but the two went hand in hand (don’t get me wrong—people at raves have always used drugs, and always will but the number of people who came specifically for the drugs as opposed to the scene/music/people went up.) The rise in rudeness also accompanied a rise in popularity of raves and techno music—as dance/electronica became more mainstream here in the US I ran into more and more people who would just as soon tell you “fuck off” as smile at you.

So from the response to my first email to the list in a long time I have to guess that the scene has not improved any. Don’t get me wrong, I did get some email’s that where more positive but it only takes one ass hole to make an experience leave a bad taste in your mouth. So my response to all this was:

Given the responses I got to my last email it’s no wonder that the
Liquid Lounge “Family” fell apart. (and I don’t mean just Rose’s)
To xxxx: no offense take and to answer your question, I thought Velvet was better because the people there where a lot less rude than the people who came to buzz. It did not start out that way but over time—to me—it got that way. I agree that there was a ball-stink problem with quite a few of them! If you don’t want to read my yada yada and et al’s then don’t. And I could give a shit about what someone who cannot even type a sentence with correct capitalization thinks about my spelling—I have dyslexia what is your excuse?
Yes, I am a jaded, washed up raver who cannot stand drugged up rude
party-kids/ravers/clubers/or whatever they call themselves. I do subscribe to PLUR.
Flame away,
-beggs

Let the flame wars begin!

no one to talk to

Friday, December 13th, 2002

It’s Friday night and I am alone in my apartment. Since I have no one to talk to I think I will just keep updating my journal so here is some random rambling:

First of all: I have found out that my computer is in dire need of a bulk update. All the software on my Linux box is old. Not ancient but old. The best sign of this is that I am using Mozilla 0.9.3 and they are one release 1.2.1 (if you don’t use Mozilla then I should mention that they release upgrades slowly and my version was released in the fall of 2000!) In fact my Linux install (RedHat 7.0) is so old that most of the new stuff I want will not compile and I am too lazy to go and download all the updates—one day I’ll just go get a newer version of Linux, time I paid for a real version again I have not done that since the end of last century (literally it was October of 1999!)

Ok, enough geeking out. Second thing: I don’t remember what the second thing was.

Third thing: a cool quote from Piro over at Megatokyo—”Humans love to categorize and organize things. We break up time into hours, days and years. Everything has to have a name, a history, an understanding of it’s origins and must be indexed somewhere on Google. ” You have to love the reference to Google. Or maybe you have to be a geek to love it that much.

Fourth thing: Depression sucks! Let me qualify that. My life is not that bad. I have a Girlfriend, a job, and some great friends. But right now I am just depressed. Partly because it is December and December and January have not, historically speaking, been good months for me. Let’s just say that things happened during these months in recent years and in more distant years that hurt, a lot. Also the holidays themselves are depressing to me as I have never really had a good family holiday life and it is worse because I see so many people who do, and I wish I could know what that feels like. On top of all this I am depressed because I will not get to see my girlfriend at all during the holidays. Which is really depressing—I have not seen her is six months and have no idea when I will see her next. Add to this a dose of seasonal depression caused by getting to work before the sun is up and getting home after the sun sets. And finally my utter and complete lack of enthusiasm for work because I sit at work all day staring off into nothingness because I have nothing to do. The end result of all this is I am just depressed right now.

Last thing for now: Marriage. I don’t understand. Everyone I know is engaged or married—and they are all younger than I am. I think there must be something wrong with me. I want to get married. I want to have a family, a wife and kids. But I don’t know. There have been times when I was dating people and thought, “I would like to spend the rest of my life with this person.” But there was always things in the back of my head which tempered any impulse to run to Tiffany’s and buy a diamond—things like “I need to finish school first” or “I know they are not ready” or “I need to wait, to make sure.” Sometimes I wonder what I do wrong in relationships, I think I push people away somehow, smother their personality or lose my own. I don’t know what I do wrong but sometimes I think I will go through life from one relationship to another, never marry, never have the family I want. Maybe it’s just a symptom of my depression but it adds to my depression.

Enough wallowing in self-pity, the new version of Mozilla is done downloading. Now I’m off to install it.

only in britain!

Friday, December 13th, 2002

The Ministry of Sound just announced that they are going to move Nelson’s Column To The Millennium Dome for their New Years Eve party. Now just in case you did not know Nelson’s Column has been in Trafalgar Square since 1843 and it is 165 feet tall (the Dome is 172 feet at it’s highest interior point so it’s a tight fit.) Now if this was any country but Britain and a night club asked to use a Laser cutter to disassemble a national monument, move it across town, reassemble it inside a stadium for a 15 hour party then move it back; the government would say “you are kidding aren’t you?” But not in Britain—they agreed! I have this sadistic hope that the thing is permanently messed up by all this, or even that it falls over while they are trying to put the pieces back together! Who in the government thought this was a good idea? And why?

Go here to read more…

dmv headaches

Friday, December 13th, 2002

Ok, so I tried to go to DMV today to register my car in DC. No go. The DMV in Georgetown does not no that. So they sent me to 301 C st. But they told me I needed insurance in DC, the Virginia stuff will not work, and I needed to have the car inspected first. So now I have to get up tomorrow and get the car inspected and get insurance. I spent most of my Friday afternoon dealing with this and in the process I got a ticket! F’en DMV. I also had to pay parking at the Georgetown site – $4.00 for ten minutes to be told, “we don’t do that here…” F’en DMV!

cannibal devours berliner

Thursday, December 12th, 2002

That’s really funny when you remember that ‘berliner’ is also the word for a jelly doughnut. The title is from the Bild—a German newspaper who where running a story on a very disturbing murder case in Germany — go here for the Reuters story. But you should probably read it on an empty stomach—it’s gory, disgusting, disturbing and oh, so wrong. It’s like “Citizen X” meets “Hannibal.”