confusion

Ok, so if you where friends with your X and talked on a relatively regular basis and then one day you where at dinner with a few other friends who also know your X suddenly and they say; “I hear X is engaged…” Your thought pattern goes something like this over the course of the night: “do what? No. Maybe. That’s just rude. X did not say anything to me when we talked. That’s rude, why didn’t…?” I don’t know call me a strange person but considering we still talk regularly—we talked for a few minutes just the other day (I assume this did not just happen if these people know and I know the boyfriend has been gone for a week plus, at least I think that is the boyfriend.) I am beginning to think that I don’t have such a good relationship with this X… And I though I did.

looks like Bush is going to get his war—unless the 12,000 pages Iraq delivered to the UN today have something in them other than what the spokesman said. At the hand over to the UN today in Baghdad the spokesman said that the document verified that Iraq has no weapons of mass destruction and no programs to create them.

Of course at the same time Saddam Hussain delivered a speach in which he called upon the people of Kuwait to resist the infidels and come together with Baghdad to resist the forces of London, Washington and Israel. So, here we go again—Bush is ready for war, Saddam is ready for war: start your engines it’s only really a matter of time (and timing for politics!) till the bombs start dropping. (oh yea on a really cheery note the US says that Iraq has enough “precursor” material to have produced 200 tones of VX gas—thats enough to whip out the world…)

Time makes a wound seam more distant… not smaller. This week is the 5th anniversary of T█████- taking M██████ away from me—something I still think about, something that still hurts. I am still haunted by the sound of “dada” sometimes late at night when I am alone.