confusion

27 times around the sun now since I got here…

$350 million is a big number. That is how much the United States has ‘so far pledged’ in aid to the peoples and nations affected by the Boxing Day quake and tsunami [ wikipedia.org ]. $350 million is a big a number, but $500 million is bigger—that’s how much Japan has pledged.

$80 billion is a bigger number. That’s how much the ‘liberation of Iraq’ was supposed to cost—no point in discussing how much it actually cost. It’s a disgrace. And Collin Powell has the audacity to say that our paltry $350 million was “an opportunity to see American generosity, American values in action.”

I guess it’s a good thing that the tradition in America is not of government charity but private charity. Hopefully the private donation by truly generous Americans who do have values will far out weigh the required generosity of the government. Have you given any money? Here are a few places you can donate if you have not…

• Action Against Hunger
• ReliefWeb
• American Red Cross (via Amazon)
• American Jewish World Service
• BAPS Care International
• CARE
• Direct Relief International
• GOAL
• Habitat for Humanity International
• International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent
• Islamic Relief Worldwide
• Karuna Trust
• Network for Good
• Oxfam International (US page)
• Sarvodaya
• Save the Children
• UNICEF (US page)
• World Food Programme (UN)
• World Vision

The only worlds to describe the scope of the damage and the loss of life associated with the earthquake and tsunami is biblical just look at the death tolls [ wikipedia.org ]. Remember that these numbers are still changing and they don’t include those who will die from lack of safe drinking water or proper medical treatment over the next few months.

The fall out for the few minutes of the earth shaking will take years to be fully realized. We will never know the true number of people affected because most of the affected areas are mired in absolute poverty. Whole villages were erased from the face of the earth in a few moments.

If you want to see a small sample of the power of the waves take a look at a few of the videos [ asiantsunamivideos.com ] that were taken by tourists.

There was no killer wave here in Singapore and luckily I know no one I know was directly affected by the disasters. One person I know in the region checked out of his beachside hotel less than an hour before the tsunami hit—there is nothing left of the town he was staying in but he is ok.

I have been guilty lately of more or less completely ignoring my friends. I have received few emails from them, and the time distance means I don’t get calls—not to mention the fact that I am not positive I ever sent them my Singapore phone number. I can blame some of this on a number of things, like the amount of hours I have been working, or 13 hour time difference; in fact I don’t even talk to my mother very often because of that. But saying those things would not be the truth. In reality I have just been lazy about contacting people.

It’s easy to be lazy about calling or writing people. When I am at work I am often swamped by work and when I am not swamped by work I find myself too burnt to write letters to friends. I meant to send postcards to many people before Christmas, to say happy holidays to those who celebrate and to just say hello to those who don’t. To inform all of my friends wherever they are in the world that I do still think of them.

But I didn’t

I just didn’t get to it. I picked up post cards at a small shop the other day but thought; “I’ll get them on my way back out, I don’t want to carry the bag around all afternoon.” And that has been the extent of my apathy to writing postcards. This apathy has also extended to writing email of late. I have not send replies to the few emails I have gotten. I am totally out of touch.

It’s bad really. I don’t want to lose these people as friends; I don’t want to lose contact with them. I have been friends with them across great distances before so this is nothing new. I need to get myself back in control of my time. I have found someone to share much of my time with here but I need to put a little more structure in my time both at work and at fun. I will start today by sending those I have neglected a short message to say I am still alive. Consider this a sort of pre-new years resolution: I will make more of an effort to keep in touch with those close to me, I will not ignore the relationships that are important to me, be they near or far. I will be a good friend.

My behavior has been inexcusable.

I just experienced what I can only be described as a ‘Chinese fire drill.’ I know that that might not be a PC term but that’s what it was. Apparently every building here needs to do regular fire drills because; Singapore is a nanny state.

So anyway, at 11 o’clock this morning the fire alarm goes off and none of us move—it goes off all the time and it’s not the most effective fire alarm. It’s like the boy who cried ‘wolf!’ We all ignore it now and it is ignorable because it’s not very loud like the one we have back in the US office which will drive you out of the building with it’s skull splitting squeal.

Since none of us had any plans to leave the not-so-burring building someone had to come through and remind us all that it is a regulation and we have to leave and oh, by the way, it is a planned fire drill not a malfunction in the alarm system this time. So we all march down the nine flights of stairs and walk around the front of the building and wow, it’s a party!

There were neat little numbers hanging up so everyone could congregate by which floor their office was on. They even provided drinks and there were people walking around with megaphones. And they provided entertainment, well sort of. They burned a bunch of trash in a bin and demonstrated how to use a fire extinguisher—over and over again.

After about thirty minutes—and just before it started to rain—they let us back in to the building. So of course it took another 20 minutes to get back to the office as the whole building was trying to take the lift at once. And now some fire marshal can go back and put a tic in the ‘Chinese fire drill’ box for our building and we can work for another year before they teach us to use a fire extinguisher again.

Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly.

Confucius

I don’t want to rush things, to move to fast, to jeopardize the long term. I understand the meaning of Confucius’ saying. But at the same time…

I have rushed into things before despite telling myself to slow down, to move deliberately and to think logically. Yet logic has little, if anything, to do with the most fundamental of life’s great mysteries. No, I can’t say that found that one greatest of things. I don’t know, I have only just met this person, I am just getting to know them but everything about them is just right.

Despite the best efforts to take time and do things right my logical mind finds itself yelling into the wind, along for the ride as the illogical parts of my being venture headlong into the unknown. It’s not a bad feeling; in fact it is a wonderful feeling. My logical mind working to make sure I do not mess things up by rushing too fast, helping to steer the course while my emotional mind believes nothing can go wrong and marches ever forward indifferent to any obstacles. The obstacles loom large but they can be dealt with and it is always easier to deal with great challenges with someone beside you than on your own.